Only Fools and Horses Complete

Only Fools And Horses Quotes

Does anyone know of any funny "quotes" to say when talking about a dumb person ?

Like - "He's about as sharp as a marble"

Maybe some ones from Only Fools and Horses ?

A sandwich short of a picnic
A stubbie short of a slab { Australian}
The lights are on but no one is at home
Thick as two short planks
Nuff nuff
Pre school dropout
Oh I can,t remember any more, my brain is hurting

We did not find any matches for your request.

only fools & horses the best of TRIGGER

The Horse Has No Understanding in Bible and Quran!

The Horses are mentioned in the Bible 175 times and in the Quran three times, i.e., the Bible cites the Horses 58 times more than the Quran does.

Furthermore, the total words of the Bible are 788,280 while the total words of the Quran are 77,473. It follows that, the Bible has the likely of more than 10 times than the Quran word-wise to talk about the Horses. In addition, the Bible has the prospective of more than 58 times than the Quran topic-wise to utter about the Horses.

The Horses in the Bible:

What the Lord says about the Horses?

• I killed your young men with the sword, along with your captured Horses.

• I will destroy your Horses from among you

• I will strike every Horse with panic and its rider with madness

• I will blind all the Horses of the nations.

The LORD will bring a terrible plague on your Horses and donkeys

Kill the Horses, The Lord commanded Joshua and David.

A sword is against Horses.

Exodus 9:3

The hand of the LORD will bring a terrible plague on your livestock in the field—on your Horses and donkeys and camels and on your cattle and sheep and goats.

Joshua 11:6

The LORD said to Joshua, "Do not be afraid of them, because by this time tomorrow I will hand all of them over to Israel, slain. You are to hamstring their Horses and burn their chariots."

Joshua 11:9

Joshua did to them as the LORD had directed: He hamstrung their Horses and burned their chariots.

2 Samuel 8:4

David captured a thousand of his chariots, seven thousand charioteers and twenty thousand foot soldiers. He hamstrung all but a hundred of the chariot Horses.

1 Kings 20:21

The king of Israel advanced and overpowered the Horses and chariots and inflicted heavy losses on the Arameans.

2 Kings 23:11

He removed from the entrance to the temple of the LORD the Horses that the kings of Judah had dedicated to the sun. They were in the court near the room of an official named Nathan-Melech. Josiah then burned the chariots dedicated to the sun.

Jeremiah 50:37

A sword against her Horses and chariots and all the foreigners in her ranks! They will become women. A sword against her treasures! They will be plundered.

Jeremiah 51:21

With you I shatter Horse and rider; with you I shatter chariot and driver,

Amos 4:10

"I sent plagues among you as I did to Egypt. I killed your young men with the sword, along with your captured Horses. I filled your nostrils with the stench of your camps, yet you have not returned to me," declares the LORD.

Micah 5:10

"In that day," declares the LORD, "I will destroy your Horses from among you and demolish your chariots.

Habakkuk 3:8

Were you angry with the rivers, O LORD ? Was your wrath against the streams? Did you rage against the sea when you rode with your Horses and your victorious chariots?

Haggai 2:22

I will overturn royal thrones and shatter the power of the foreign kingdoms. I will overthrow chariots and their drivers; Horses and their riders will fall, each by the sword of his brother.

Zechariah 12:4

On that day I will strike every Horse with panic and its rider with madness," declares the LORD. "I will keep a watchful eye over the house of Judah, but I will blind all the Horses of the nations.

Zechariah 14:15

A similar plague will strike the Horses and mules, the camels and donkeys, and all the animals in those camps.

Horses of fire

2 Kings 2:11

"…suddenly a chariot of fire and Horses of fire appeared …"

2 Kings 6:17

"…the hills full of Horses and chariots of fire all around..."

The Horses' hoofs thundered, trample and seem like flint

Judges 5:22

Then thundered the Horses' hoofs— galloping, galloping go his mighty steeds.

The Horses' hoofs seem like flint

Ezekiel 26:11

The hoofs of his Horses will trample all your streets; he will kill your people with the sword, and your strong pillars will fall to the ground.

Isaiah 5:28

"…their Horses' hoofs seem like flint, their chariot wheels like a whirlwind."

The Horse has no understanding

Psalm 32:9

Do not be like the Horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.

This verse contradicts with the concept of the biologists who say that the Horse is an intelligent animal and understands.

The Horse is a vain hope for deliverance

Psalm 33:17

"A Horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save."

When God of Jacob rebuke, the Horse lie still

Psalm 76:6

At your rebuke, O God of Jacob, both Horse and chariot lie still.

His pleasure is not in the Horse, nor in the legs of a man

Psalm 147:10

His pleasure is not in the strength of the Horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man;

A whip for the Horse and a rod for the fools!

Proverbs 26:3

A whip for the Horse, a halter for the donkey, and a rod for the backs of fools!

Slaves on Horseback! Why not?

Ecclesiastes 10:7

I have seen slaves on Horseback, while princes go on foot like slaves.

Where is this land?

Isaiah 2:7

Their land is full of silver and gold; there is no end to their treasures. Their land is full of Horses; there is no end to their chariots.

Discover the Egyptians

Isaiah 31:3

But the Egyptians are men and not God; their Horses are flesh and not spirit.

Moreover, the Egyptians genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of Horses (Look at the very clear-cut description).

Ezekiel 23:20

There she lusted after her lovers (the Egyptians), whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of Horses.

Read my comment at article of Donkey

The Horses are swifter than eagles and leopards

The Horses are fiercer than wolves

Jeremiah 4:13

His Horses are swifter than eagles. Woe to us! We are ruined!

Habakkuk 1:8

Their Horses are swifter than leopards, fiercer than wolves at dusk

I will leave these two verses that contradict with sciences for the biologists to interpret them better than me.

At the sound of Horsemen every town takes to flight and they are cruel and without mercy. The sound is like roaring sea or thunder.

Jeremiah 4:29

At the sound of Horsemen and archers every town takes to flight. Some go into the thickets; some climb up among the rocks. All the towns are deserted; no one lives in them.

Jeremiah 50:42

They are armed with bows and spears; they are cruel and without mercy. They sound like the roaring sea as they ride on their Horses;

Revelation 9:9

They had breastplates like breastplates of iron, and the sound of their wings was like the thundering of many Horses and chariots rushing into battle.

The whole valley where dead bodies and ashes

Jeremiah 31:40

The whole valley where dead bodies and ashes are thrown, and all the terraces out to the Kidron Valley on the east as far as the corner of the Horse Gate, will be holy to the LORD. The city will never again be uprooted or demolished."

How do the Horses look like? Locusts, human, or lions

Jeremiah 51:27

"…Send up Horses like a swarm of locusts."

Revelation 9:7

"The locusts looked like Horses prepared for battle. On their heads they wore something like crowns of gold, and their faces resembled human faces."

Joel 2:4

They have the appearance of Horses; they gallop along like cavalry.

Revelation 9:17

The Horses and riders I saw in my vision looked like this: Their breastplates were fiery red, dark blue, and yellow as sulfur. The heads of the Horses resembled the heads of lions, and out of their mouths came fire, smoke and sulfur.

Eat the Horses, The Lord commands

Ezekiel 39:20

At my table you will eat your fill of Horses and riders, mighty men and soldiers of every kind,' declares the Sovereign LORD.

The Horses trampled the sea

Habakkuk 3:15

You trampled the sea with your Horses, churning the great waters.

The colors of the Horses: red, brown and white, black, fiery red, and pale

Zechariah 1:8

a man riding a red Horse! Behind him were red, brown and white Horses.

Zechariah 6:2

The first chariot had red Horses, the second black,

Zechariah 6:6 dappled Horses

Revelation 6:2 a white Horse

Revelation 6:4

Then another Horse came out, a fiery red one.

Revelation 6:5

When the Lamb opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a black Horse! Its rider was holding a pair of scales in his hand.

Revelation 6:8

I looked, and there before me was a pale Horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth.

How to make Horses obedient?

James 3:3

When we put bits into the mouths of Horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.

The power of the Horses was in their mouths and in their tails

Revelation 9:19

The power of the Horses was in their mouths and in their tails; for their tails were like snakes, having heads with which they inflict injury.

Examples of the Mercy:

Blood flowed out of the press, rising as high as the Horses' bridles

Revelation 14:20

They were trampled in the winepress outside the city, and blood flowed out of the press, rising as high as the Horses' bridles for a distance of 1,600 stadia.

Revelation 19:11

[The Rider on the White Horse] I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white Horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war.

Revelation 19:14

The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white Horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean.

Revelation 19:19

Then I saw the beast and the kings of the earth and their armies gathered together to make war against the rider on the Horse and his army.

Revelation 19:21

The rest of them were killed with the sword that came out of the mouth of the rider on the Horse, and all the birds gorged themselves on their flesh.

The Horses in the Quran:

Surah 3:14

Fair in the eyes of men is the love of things they covet: women and sons; heaped-up hoards of gold and silver; Horses branded (for blood and excellence); and (wealth of) cattle and well-tilled land. Such are the possessions of this world's life; but in nearness to Allah is the best of the goals (to return to).

Allah made man love women, sons, gold, silver; Horses, cattle, and well-tilled land. This meaning of inherited human behavior and tradition is not mentioned in the Bible.

Surah 8:60

Against them make ready your strength to the utmost of your power, including steeds of war, to strike terror into (the hearts of) the enemies, of Allah and your enemies, and others besides, whom ye may not know, but whom Allah doth know. Whatever ye shall spend in the Cause of Allah, shall be repaid unto you, and ye shall not be treated unjustly.

This is a prophylactic verse to prevent wars between nations.

Be ready with all of your power, and then your enemies will be afraid of you.

No doubt that USA is the first country following this verse.

Surah 16:8

And (He has created) Horses, mules, and donkeys, for you to ride and use for show; and He Creates (other) things of which ye have no knowledge.

Allah Creates what we do not know.

This verse preceded the sciences at any time, now and in the future.

Read my comment at my article about the Donkey.

Back to the main issue of my series of articles; this is my question to you smart readers: "Is the Quran quoted from the Bible"?

About the Author

Professor Dr. Ibrahim Khalil
Prof. of Clinical and Chemical Pathology,
Head of Clinical Microbiology and Infection Control Unit,
Ain-Shams University. Cairo, Egypt.
And,
President of the Egyptian Society of Inventors.
Member of the Egyptian union of Writers

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